Question:  Do animals have the same penises as humans?

Answer: Well, not quite. Most primates, including chimpanzees, have a penis bone and achieve erections through muscle contraction. The human penis has evolved the unusual system of vasocongestion (the swelling of bodily tissues caused by increased vascular blood flow) to achieve erection, making the erect organ far more flexible than that of other primate species.

But other animals don’t seem to be on this penile spectrum. For instance, take the koala bear, which has a two-pronged or bifurcated penis (not to be confused with having two penises). As a matter of fact, all male marsupials (except for the two largest species of kangaroos) have bifurcated penises which separate into two columns, thus having two ends. In the same vein, females have two vaginal openings to accommodate their mates. The marsupial world seems to sport other strange dick facts. The echidna, native to Australia, has a four-headed penis. Only two of the heads are used during mating, though. The other two shut down and don’t grow during sex. The echidna swaps out its penises each time it mates.

Another odd animal is the argonaut, a type of octopus that has a detachable penis. This type of octopus has very pronounced sexual dimorphism, meaning that the male and the female of the species look very different. The male rarely grows to be larger than 2cm, while the female can be 5 times larger at 10cm. In fact, the dimorphism is so pronounced that the female argonauts were known since ancient times, while males were only described in the late 19th century.

Perhaps a more curious fact about this animal is that the males have a special arm called the hectocotylus, which they use to transfer sperm to the female. The male’s arm is inserted into the female, and then it’s detached from the male. The female literally cuts off the penis of the male when they mate. Until the males were discovered in the species, people actually thought that the hectocotylus was a parasitic worm.

Yet more weird willy facts in the insect world — The female orb-web spider Nephilengys malabarensis is very aggressive and usually kills and eats the male during sex. As a lifesaving measure, the males have developed a simple, but painful, strategy. During reproduction, they break off their penises, which remain attached to the female. The males cannot regrow their genitals, but no other males can then mate with the female. Now eunuchs, they become better fighter and, more importantly, stay alive.

It’s a well known fact that when honey bees sting, the stinger is detached from the body, along with the bee’s vital organs, and it dies. A lesser known fact involves the process of a male worker bee impregnating a female queen. When a queen bee is ready to mate, it takes flight with about a dozen male drones. In order to prevent the other 11 drones from impregnating the queen, the male’s penis snaps off and remains attached to her (similar to the above mentioned orb-web spider), acting as a plug that prevents any more sexual contact, but then the male dies. Think of it like an insect version of The Bachelor. However, the reward for the eventual male winner is not a rose, but a mating session with the queen that results in his death!

So during your next intimate moment, be thankful that your partner doesn’t rip off your weiner and watch you die. Erectile dysfunction doesn’t seem like such a bad thing after all, huh?

About Soo Joo

Soo Joo is our resident brainiac in the GaySocialites.com family. While the rest of us are sitting around pondering on the “Things That Make You Go Hmmm,” Soo Joo has all the answers. Shoot her an e-mail soojoo@queerplanet.net.

Tags: animals, interesting facts, penis, things that make you go hmmm